Emotional intelligence - It is “your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.” Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Bradburry and Greaves
Understand the emotions both in yourself and others,
Have the wherewithal to manage your behavior and your relationships.
Self-awareness is the ability to understand yourself as you really are.
Social awareness is what helps you stay focused and absorb the important information that will help you be relational.
2. Leaders Always Build Trust.
Every day we are both put in a position to trust others, and ask others to trust us.
To build trust, you have to learn how to manage your relationships.
Relationships are like cultivating a garden. Building trust takes time.
Reflection Exercise: Think about the relationships in your life that cause you to trust. What are you missing in those relationships? What do you need to do to take that relationship to the next level?
Another thing that you can do is actually ask people how you can gain more of their trust. And, when you ask, actually listen to their answer.
3. Leaders Always Have Tough Conversations.
Avoid arguments at all costs. There are no winners in an argument, only losers.
With that being said, leaders DO have the tough conversations. The other side of arguing would be to totally disregard the conversations that need to be had. But, that is the art of leadership.
QUESTION: Are you calm and effective in the way that you handle tough conversations?
The “one minute reprimand” - One Minute Manager
Tough conversations come in the context of what should already be good and positive leadership on your part.
Tough conversations usually happen on multiple occasions for one topic. The first conversation is helping them to understand the changes that need to be made. But the second conversation is always more important. It is the conversation where you come back and help them understand that they have made the change successfully and that you are happy with their performance. Or, you have a follow-up conversation to let them know that they still have to make changes, whether big or small.
You have to have the interest of your people first and foremost. If they know that you are trying to help correct their mistakes or errors for the sake of the team and also their ability to get better at what they do, they will want this kind of feedback.
When people know that you mean it, and that you want to get better at leading them, they will invite it and appreciate it.
MO’s FINAL THOUGHTS:
Start treating people like individuals, while at the same time not losing the team aspect of everything. Everybody understands communication differently. There are some people on your team that you need to reevaluate, to see if you have been treating the relationship properly, and giving it the kind of attention that you should be. Always be promoting a healthy bottom line, both in production, and relationships that you have with the people in your team. Having both will set you up to be effective in leadership.
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